Adventures in Dogsitting
by countrypanther14
Summary: When Maou watches his boss' sister's dog, he is thrown for a loop with unexpected surprises, and the dog's love/hate relationship for Urushihara. I own nothing, rated just to be safe. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't worry, I'll continue with 'Maou's day off' soon. I just wrote this because I was bored. R&R.**

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><p>"Sire, I do insist that you teach some sort of responsibility to Lucifer." Ashiya said. "He's too reckless."<p>

"There's no teaching Lucifer," Maou said. "No matter what we do, he won't listen." He looked forward and was knocked to the ground a by a large white and brown dog. "Hello..." he said.

The dog barked and licked his face as he reached for Ashiya. "Ashiya help." he said. "I'm being slobbered upon by a hairy beast."

"Cosmo," a voice shouted. "No! Down boy."

Maou looked up and saw his manager, Kisaki running over and pulling the dog off of him.

"Sorry Maa." she said. "It's my sister's dog, and he can be very-" she stopped as the dog left a...gift, on her shoe. "Affectionate and territorial."

"No kidding." Maou said as Kisaki got the dog reattached to his leash.

"Hey, can you do me a favor?" she asked. "I have to go out of town on a business meeting, and the place I'm staying at doesn't allow any large animals."

"What are you getting at?" he asked.

"Can you watch over him? Please? I'll pay you double for the next week." she begged.

"I don't know." Maou said. "I live with him and one other person in a tiny apartment."

"Please."

"Alright." Maou said. "But only because I need the money."

"Thank you." she said. "I'll drop him off tomorrow."

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><p>"Okay, just remember to feed him, but not too much. And make sure you keep his food out of reach so he won't over feed himself. And make sure you walk him every couple hours." Kisaki said.<p>

"Yeah yeah, feed and walk the dog. Don't worry, everything will be fine." Maou said. "Just have a safe trip."

"Okay, I'll be back on Sunday to pick him up."

"Okay." Maou said as he took Cosmo's leash.

Not too soon after she left, Cosmo made himself comfortable and started sniffing at Urushihara, who was taking a nap.

"What the Hell?" he asked before Cosmo attacked him with kisses. "No." he said as Cosmo pinned him and licked his hair. "No, bad dog. Maou, help me."

"Oh come on Urushihara." Maou said. "When a dog does that, it means it likes you."

"But I was napping." Urushihara groaned, "And the last thing I need is being attacked by a St. Bernard."

"A what?" Ashiya asked.

"It's the breed of the this thing is." Urushihara said. "And Maou, being pinned by this thing, I think you and your boss got this thing mixed up."

"What makes you say that?" Maou asked.

"The dog's a she. And it might be pregnant, I don't know."

"You're making that up." Maou said.

"Alright, but don't come crying to me if it has puppies. And can you get this thing off of me before-" he was interrupted by Cosmo licking the inside of his mouth, and he started gagging.

"Nah, I think I'll just let him be." Maou said.

"It's a she!"

"Whatever."

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><p>Lucifer yawned as he got back to the apartment and took off his hat, after going to the bath house go wash his hair, and then to the game store to get a new game, he was exhausted, more because he flew instead of walked. When he unlocked the door to the apartment, he saw that Cosmo had torn apart his box and left a few...presents, on it.<p>

"You do know I sleep there, right?" he asked the dog.

Cosmo barked and walked back into Ashiya and Maou's room before making herself comfortable on Ashiya's bed.

"Yeah, do the same to Ashiya why don't you." he said as he got into Maou's bed.

"What the hell are you doing?" Maou asked.

"The dog tore up my box and left its business on it." Urushihara said. "And you do realize that you're supposed to walk them before you to bed, right?"

"I told Ashiya to have you do that?"

"I wasn't in the freaking apartment, I was at the bath house washing off the dog slobber." Urushihara said in a hushed whisper. "Now can you shut up, and go to bed."

"Fine." Maou huffed. "But still sleep on the floor." he pushed Urushihara off his futon as Cosmo plopped down on his chest, knocking the wind out of him.

"Ha ha." Urushihara laughed.

"Shut up." Maou groaned.

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><p><strong>That's it for now, R&amp;R.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Next chapter. R&R.**

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><p>When Urushihara woke up the next morning, Maou had already left for work, and Ashiya was probably at the library looking up research. But when a chilling breeze blew across his butt, he looked up to see that Cosmo had made a nice little chew toy out of his shorts, leaving him in his teddy bear underwear.<p>

"Bad dog!" he shouted, jumping to his feet. "Give me my pants back."

Cosmo barked and ran from the room leaving Urushihara to chase after it and bump right into Suzuno, knocking her to the floor.

"Good morning Good Hanzo." she said, regaining her breath. "Nice to see- are those teddy bears?"

"Shut up and help me get my shorts back." he said. He ran after Cosmo and caught up with her not too far from the park. "Damn dog." he said, wrestling his purple shorts from Cosmo's mouth. "My clothes aren't food."

"Look mommy, that man has teddy bears on his undies." a little girl said.

"Put some clothes on!" the mom yelled.

"Why do you- what's the point, you'll still call the cops on me." he said. He felt Cosmo sniff his leg and knock him to the ground as she grabbed his underwear in her teeth. "Cosmo, no! Bad girl! Don't you dare- and you already did." he said, trying to hide his face in his arms as Cosmo ran off with his underpants. He quickly put on the shorts and flew off after Cosmo as she tackled Chiho, and took her boot.

"Sorry!" he shouted.

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><p>"I'm home." Maou said.<p>

"You Evilness, I don't know what happened. But I lost the dog." Ashiya said, kneeling in front of Maou and crying.

"How the hell did you lose a dog? Especially a St. Bernard? I mean seriously, they're big dogs."

"I'm back." Urushihara gasped, carrying Cosmo in his arms. "And I caught Cosmo."

"Where'd you find him."

"Her!"

"Whatever."

"I had to chase her after she took my shorts this morning. And after chasing her to the park and embarrassing myself because she took my underwear too. I finally managed to grab her before she went to MgRonalds."

"So you've been chasing Cosmo all day?" Maou asked.

"Yeah, thanks for helping." Urushihara said. He put Cosmo down and went to the fridge. "Hey, where's the pizza I got yesterday?"

"You ate it." Maou said, giving Cosmo a bowl of dog kibble.

"But I do wish you would stop spending our money on that." Ashiya said.

"How about you- YEOUCH!" Urushihara yelled as he fell to the floor.

"What happened?" Maou asked.

"Cosmo bit me." Urushihara snapped.

"Bad dog." Maou said. "Into the corner. Go on."

Cosmo whimpered and laid down in the corner of the room as Ashiya cleaned the bite.

"It's not that bad." he said.

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><p>"Hanzo!" Suzuno yelled, banging on the door.<p>

Urushihara groaned as he sat up, feeling a twinge of fear run down his spine; for Suzuno to just call him by his last name, and not be formal about it, she had to be pissed off about something. "Yeah yeah, I'm coming. Keep your dress on." he said as he unlocked the door and opened it, and felt his mind grind to a halt.

Suzuno was in a pink nightgown that ended mid-thigh, and her hair was down out of it's clip. But she looked sleep deprived and pissed.

"What is it? he asked.

"Come with me." she hissed through her teeth.

Not wanting to argue, he followed her back to her apartment, only to get the shock of his life.

"Shit."

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><p><strong>R&amp;R<strong>


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